Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a rupee 500 note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?".Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.". He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?". still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?". And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.....
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
Sunday, January 06, 2008
We have all learned to live with 'voice mail' as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered,what if God decided to install voicemail?'Imagine praying and hearing this:
Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.
What if God used the familiar excuse... 'I'm sorry, all ofour angels are busy helping other sinners right now.However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so please stay on the line.'
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in Prayer:
If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear Narad sing a Bhajan while you are holding, please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,Press 5,
enter his or her PAN number, then press the 0 key.
If you get a negative response,try area code 420 for (Hell).Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.Please hang up and try again tomorrow.This office is closed for the weekend to observe areligious holiday.Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at your neighbourhood Temple.
THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND LISTENS WHENEVER WE PRAY!!!!!
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters.These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Look at the sun setting,
Marking the fall of darkness;
A constellation of stars appear ,twinkling,
With the moon smiling in all its haughtiness!
The sun seems to accept its defeat
As it disappears below the horizon
After completing a brilliant feat,
Withdrawing its glorious shine.
But, there it showed up again
Reappearing in the
As I looked up at the sky at dawn,
Considering it to my eyes, a feast!
With vibrant new energy to render,
It spreads its rays across valley, rock and hill;
Forcing anyone under its magnificent intensity to surrender
To its incipient gleam that shines; and always will.
It is the cynosure, fierce with its massive size;
And I feel, dear God, that it is your greatest creation
And though at night, its vigor departs;