Back with a bang

Yeah, you are right. Am back to blogging :) Well, I plan to keep my blog updated from now on and I hope I do. Obviously, I am blogging because years down the lane, I wanna know what I was doing back then. Its one kind of a diary for me. A diary which I don't mind sharing with anyone...

I was driving back home when I was thinking about what to write in my blog everyday and I think my observation capacity is the highest when I drive. The next incident I am going to state may contradict this line ;) Well, I was in my dream world as I was driving and a kid just came in between. I struck the break cord and with all my might caught up my heavy Honda Activa and made sure I didn't fall down! There came a screeching sound which caught the attention of almost every person on the road. It was embarrassing, but then such incidents do happen in life to give you a wake up call at times. Thank God my reflex action was good enough and Good Heavens nothing happened to the child! You can't beat my observation capacity on the road, can you?! ;)

Anyways, the reason I narrated this incident here was to show that I learnt something from this. I have learnt the importance of driving safely and driving well. Though this is something I would want to forget, I ought to remember the lessons learnt from such things. I am sure that many such incidents happen in our daily life and we need to pay heed to such things so that they don't happen in the future. So it is all about observing things that happen in your life and learning from them.

Eureka!! Now I think I found an answer to my ever-persisting question "What do I blog everyday". If I cant find a nice topic to write about, I am gonna write about what I learn or observe everyday. I will  try and pursue my blogging everyday (Or at least, every other day!! ) I think this is gonna  motivate me to learn from incidents that happen in my life. Moreover, it will motivate me to keep my blog updated on that so that years down the lane, I will know what I did and what I learnt :) 

I believe life is all about learning every day...every second...every moment... So learn to learn :)

Happy learning :)

Winning and Losing

Why does everyone like to Win and hate to lose? Is it because it bolsters one's ego? May be..
Why does everyone keep running behind success? Is it because they want to prove something to the world? May be..

Winning does give people a sense of satisfaction. But if you analyse closely, the sense of satisfaction is probably because they compare themselves with others. Success in this material world is very relative. People do not consider it as absolute. May be that's why most people who are successful, find it difficult to retain their success.

We all need to view success as absolute and not relative. And more importantly, we should learn to accept failures as gracefully as we accept success. That is true character! We have to enjoy the journey of life and not pay heed to "Success" and "Failure". In this world which is getting more and more competitive by the day, we can be happy only if we learn to see success and failure as two sides of the same coin.

So what matters the most is the journey, not the result. The experience, not the outcome. Then there would be many reasons to smile in life.

Does success always do good for you? I have pondered about this many times and I don't think it does. Not always. It takes a lot of effort to handle success. I have known people who have lost a lot because of their inability to handle success. Some have lost their family, some their respect in the society and some their character!! Most of the time, failure teaches you more than success. Someone once said, "Any man and sail through turbulence, but if you want to judge a man's character, give him Power and see how he handles it". I would like to substitute "Power" with "Success" and I still believe it makes sense.

Sometimes you win by losing something..and sometimes you lose by winning something!!


So have the right spirit and balance your victories and failures gracefully.

Hope you enjoyed this article..and forgive me if I was too preachy :D

Ciao

Describing myself

Well, I wonder why it is so easy to describe others than one's own self!! I've been staring at this post aimlessly wondering where to start. Before I describe myself, let me understand why it is so easy to describe others than describing myself! Is it only for me? I don't know! I am thinking as and when I am typing this post so bear with me if it gets a little too boring :D

Yet to complete!!!


..

Things that matter.......and things that don't

The "So What" syndrome

Mohan Kuruvilla

What keeps us going in life?

Uncertainty of life

Impermanence of life

Nostalgia

What travels faster than the fastest moving object?! The answer is...Your MIND. Just hold on for a second and observe how fast your mind travels. Trust me, you will surely be amazed. I really admire those people who have control over their thoughts!! Now leaving that apart, what made me speak about the swiftness of mind?

I was just lying down lazily on my bed one evening think about how to kill time. I didn't feel like spending time with my friends too (strangely!) . Going out for eating/shopping didn't amuse me either. What did I decide to do? I decided to just spend time with myself and think about my past. (You know what? you sometimes need this kind of introspection! the more you spend this kind of time, the more refreshed you will feel)

What flashed my mind was not the small achievements of my life or the acquaintances I have had. It was not my family or friends. Unexpectedly, what occupied my empty mind was my life at Rosary Matric..My very own school...The thoughts..The place..The ground..The assembly..The teachers.. Sister Leena D'Souza (my principal).. They all bring nothing but joy to me. The best part of my schooling, from L.K.G to Class IX was in Rosary. I was such a tom-boy back then in this all-girls school. Those were truly the best days of my life! I remembered about those small awards that were given to us and they way we all competed to get them. Awards like "Best Behavior", "Best Dressed", etc meant so much to each one of us. Being a house captain or leader was something to boast off. I remembered how we used to fight for our marks and await the rankholders ceremony. All of those things seem so trivial now. And so meaningless. What brings meaning to my life are these memories and not the awards..The people and not situations.. These memories are worth everything in this world.

I really didn't know that life at Rosary Matric would bring a smile and few drops of tears (of joy of course!) almost a decade later. It just gave me a pleasant surprise :)

Enjoy every moment of your life and try to remember small things that happened in the past. You never know what small things will bring you a smile decades later!

MIND!

As Napoleon Hill states,” What the human mind can conceive and believe, the mind of a man can achieve”. This quote clearly states what the human mind is capable of. As we all know, the human mind has the capacity to learn, to remember, to like, dislike, perceive, believe and above all, THINK! The human mind is so powerful, that it stores anything that comes in its way - be it an event, lesson, idea or even people for that matter. Humans mostly tend to get engrossed in the negative aspects that happen to them in their lives. We tend to remember insults and not appreciation, loss and not gain, in general the bad and not the good. After a period of time, things that are insignificant or trivial become the major part of our memory thus replacing good and true thoughts and wishes. We are all aware that it requires great effort to remember things. But the fact is that, it requires a lot of effort to forget as well! We have to focus on positive thoughts and neglect the thoughts that lower our spirits. Most of the common questions that haunt people are, “Why me?”, “Why does this happen to me?” etc. But we cannot grow if we allow our mind to be occupied with such petty issues. We should fill our minds with constructive thoughts and the opinions and suggestions of people who wish for our welfare.

“GREAT MINDS DISCUSS IDEAS

MEDIOCRE MINDS DISCUSS EVENTS

SMALL MINDS DISCUSS PEOPLE”

The best way to progress is to nurture our mind with optimism and care for people who love you, people who wish for you to grow and not the opposite. Sometimes in life, there are many unexpected incidents that we wish had not happened. We only have to learn lessons from such incidents and get going rather than worrying about it. Such incidents are over and constant recall of such incidents makes the mind lose its eagerness to grow, to learn, to think and hence becomes rusted and weak. Your thoughts determine your actions and your actions determine your happiness. So the key to success is to be positive! I would like to end this article with a small poem,

If you think you are beaten, you are,

If you think you dare not, you don’t,

If you want to win, but if you think you cant,

It is almost certain you wont.

Life’s battles don’t always go,

To the strongest or hardest man;

Sooner or later, the man who wins,

Is the man who THINKS HE CAN!!

Be positive! Be happy!! JJ

School Life

Ok here’s my blog about my School life. I’ve studied in two schools. One is Rosary Matriculation n the other is in Adarsh Vidyalaya. I’ve been two totally different persons in both these schools. If you ask me which school I like the most, I sure wouldn’t have de answer! I’ve liked both the schools n different ways n hated them in different ways too!

First about Rosary Matric.

This is the school that made me “What I am today”! Really.  Partly.. Yo! ‘m confusing! Basically I mean all de discipline n   so called “manners” were taught to me in this school! The “Convent Education” has its own +`s n –`s. But all that apart. I hav enjoyed my school life ONLY in this school. I was this total “Tom Boy” of my class .I was a very short gal with boy cut (2^nd shortest. Can’t beat my dear friend Vaishu for being de shortest!)  sitting in the first row n walking out of the class whenever I get the slightest chance! And v used to hav few teachers who were very young. They had just finished college n joined de school for teaching math. Vaishu n me were their pets! They used to call both of us to de staff room and simply talk to us. Give us chocolates…what not!  And yeah being the Fatima house captain was something very very special for me! I was the Princi’s pet! Seriously .She used to like me so much coz I used to play TT n win prizes for Rosary Matriculation. :-p.But you know wat…Sister Leena Dsouza( my Princi) is a woman whom I Respect, Adore ,wat do I say! She is the most respectable woman I’ve ever known. When a person looks at her, he/she automatically respects her. She is a wonderful woman. She is the woman who really encouraged me to play TT in spite of my exams and all. Once I remember, I wrote my Half-Yearly exam (not sure which subject) at 6 a.m in the morning! She had arranged a special Invigilator for me to write the exam. I finished my exam at 8.30 and rushed to Nehru Stadium for my Sub-Junior Nationals! I am very grateful to her! I was in Rosary Matriculation till my 9^th standard. I had to leave de school after that for 10^th 11^th n 12^th coz they said playing TT in these crucial years of school was risky. And Sister Leena was leaving that year!. So I decided its no more my place to study and went to Adarsh Vidyalaya for my 10^th 11^th n 12^th std.

Now to life in Adarsh!

Life in Adarsh is very special to me! Firstly coz I met my best buddies in life over here!  And secondly coz this is the school which transformed me to a responsible and a matured gal! I became a very very quiet gal here ( had to keep up my mom’s name man!!..btw, she was a teacher in Adarsh). I kept wondering where that “tom boy” jalaja disappeared! I dint pretend to be quiet. I really started talking less. It was the “talk less and think more” period for me! (may b just like evry1 of this age! ) I never used to attend classes here too. Firstly I used to miss classes coz of TT and Secondly coz I was the sports secretary in 11^th and 12^th.  It was a great feeling to be a leader. We learn a lot. I started liking taking up responsibility. As I said earlier, this is the school which gave me my best buddies in life! I knew Sweta already, coz she was from Rosary. I met Poorna and Divya here. We four got along really well and ‘m so glad I met them in my life. The best part is that we also live in the same locality. So v could hang out together more often. ‘m sure our friendship will stand the test of time.(‘ll write a separate blog about our friendship later!).

So long :)

TEAM WORK IS IDEAL FOR PROBLEM SOLVING

Though individual problem solving is not discouraged, the real pay off in behavioral terms arises out of team problem solving. Working in teams fulfills a very basic need of human beings as a social animal, the craving for recognition and acceptance from people around him. This combined with an opportunity to apply one’s mind, can be more effective than the host of behavioral programs which are packaged and sold as commodities.

Interpersonal and Inter-group Communications:

Most organizations define these as problems, when in fact they are only symptoms of a much larger problem of alienation behind them. Like aspirin that eliminates the head ache temporarily, the behavioral training program by them seems to do precious little, to solve these problems permanently. Total Quality is about solving the problem permanently. Team problem solving situations help individuals to work through their interpersonal and inter-group problems with a sole objective of eliminating a quantitative problem at hand. In solving such problems they go through the best training in interpersonal and inter group communications.

Leadership and Confidence:

Leadership can never be taught but has to be learnt. In the process of problem solving, and presentations thereafter top management, individuals learn the concept of shared leadership and interdependence (the essence of team work), which will be the basic rule of operation for tomorrow’s corporations. Individuals take the leadership positions as and when problem requires their knowledge and learn when to fall back and support another who knows more. Today there are more books on leadership than probably any other behavioral concept. Corporations are flooded with packaged programs on leadership but how many leaders have really grown?

Data Based Approach

TQM is about data generation for improvement, and control for problem solving. It is data and hard facts that form the basis for breakouts in problem solving, it is only teams that can generate the appropriate kind of data.

Creativity

This is one more area which has attracted the imagination of corporate leaders: If only our employees are more creative?, they say. In Total Quality implementation, we assume that every human being has an inbuilt level of creativity and there exists potential of the human brain which needs to be challenged. Give situations in real time and guide them through process of problem solving and it will appear that individual and group creativity are flourishing. No one is asking for a genius. But we do need hundreds and thousands of improvements, over a sustained period of time, to make Total Quality work.

All this not deride the value of behavioral training, but to bring into focus the need to closely intermesh this kind of training with the hands- on work done during group problem solving. Certainly, change agents who spearhead TQM implementation, are given these inputs, which are closely linked with the hardcore activities under the TQM implementation plan. Do not wonder as to why in all this years, Japan never focused on behavioral training when the west was lapping it up. They never needed it and neither will you, if you go by the rules of the TQM implementation process of designed interventions.

who does what!?!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ..........." HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman, but remember, there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece! !!

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him up, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Your legacy!

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave?

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters :)

VALUE

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a rupee 500 note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?".Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.". He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?". still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?". And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.You are special Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED BY YOU"

A Person Is Happy As Long As He Choose To Be Happy.

Relationship

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father..

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours :)

Cheers!

BOURNE ULTIMATUM!

'm probably a little late to write about this movie "The Bourne Ultimatum". But i just happened to watch that movie recently and here is its review..

First and foremost, speaking as no fan of the genre, "The Bourne Ultimatum" is a breathtaking, virtuoso, superb action movie.Secondly, it is a silly malarky of cartoonish super-hero stuff.Thirdly, the film carries a complex, important point, about crime-fighters turning into criminals themselves. No reference is made to Abu Ghraib or the Executive Branch's outrageous domestic assaults on constitutional rights, none is necessary.So, the latest in the "Bourne" series, in the hands of Paul Greengrass (of the 2004 "Bourne Supremacy" and last year's "United 93"), is a significant achievement, perhaps held back but not actually diminished by the unavoidable excesses of the genre."Breathtaking" above is meant both as a complimentary adjective and a description of the physical sensation: for more than an hour from the first frame, the viewer seemingly holds his breath, pushed back against the chair by the force of relentless, globe-trotting, utterly suspenseful action. There is no letup, no variation in the rhythm and pull of the film, and yet it never becomes monotonous and tiresome the way some kindred music videos do after just a couple of minutes.Oliver Wood's in-your-face cinematography is making the best of Tony Gilroy's screenplay from Robert Ludlum's 1990 novel (which doesn't stack up well against the "Bourne Identity," written a decade earlier).Matt Damon is once again the inevitable, irreplaceable Bourne, the deadliest of fantasy CIA agents, this time taking on the entire agency in search of his identity, his past, and the mysterious agency program that has turned him into a killing machine. Nothing like his quietly heroic Edward R. Murrow, the always-marvelous David Strathairn is the nasty top agency official, pitched against Bourne in trying to hide some illegal "take-no-prisoners" policies and brutal procedures.Joan Allen plays what appears to be the Good Cop against Strathairn's Bad One. And, there is Julia Stiles as the agent once again coming to Bourne's aid; a combination of Greengrass' direction and Stiles acting results in a surprising impact by a mostly silent character, her lack of communication and blank expression more intriguing than miles of dialogue.So good is "The Bourne Ultimatum" that it gets away with the old one-man-against-the-world bit, this time stretched to ridiculous excesses, as Bourne defies constraints of geography, time, gravity... and physics in general. (Can you fly backwards with a car from the top of a building? Why not - it looks great.) All this "real-world" magic - leaping from country to country in seconds, to arrive at some unknown location exactly as, when, and how needed - outdoes special-effect and superhero cartoon improbabilities. And yet, only a clueless pedant would allow "facts" interfere with the entertainment-based ecstasy of the Bourne fantasy.

If you have a pulse and love action movies, than Bourne Ultimatum is for you. Hell, it's probably the best action film to come out this year. Of course, you'd be a fool to see it without watching the others first. It kind of drags a touch near the end, but I almost feel tempted to overlook that. This is the first "3" movie this summer to at least match, if not exceed, the original and that is saying something.

Men vs Women: Somehow women always win!!

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.....

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

VOICE MAIL TO GOD!

We have all learned to live with 'voice mail' as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered,what if God decided to install voicemail?'Imagine praying and hearing this:

Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests

Press2 for Thanksgiving

Press 3 for Complaints

Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.

What if God used the familiar excuse... 'I'm sorry, all ofour angels are busy helping other sinners right now.However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so please stay on the line.'

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in Prayer:

If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.

For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.

For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!

For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.

If you would like to hear Narad sing a Bhajan while you are holding, please press 4.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,Press 5,

enter his or her PAN number, then press the 0 key.

If you get a negative response,try area code 420 for (Hell).Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.Please hang up and try again tomorrow.This office is closed for the weekend to observe areligious holiday.Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at your neighbourhood Temple.

THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND LISTENS WHENEVER WE PRAY!!!!!

A must-read story!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs.Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The

sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters.These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!